HOW COME I'M GAY?
Hi! My names Bobodum Ass Kisser Obnoxiuos. My friends call me Bobo,
soze you can call me Bobodum, ‘cause I have no friends. I love my brother
and kissing ass. Just try me, you’ll see, I’ll eat your fucking rectum out.
It all started one day, or maybe it started two days, I don’t
remember ‘cause Ize so dum. Anyway, I was jerkin’ my nose off when the inn
keeper caught me workin’ at it. Welp, so much for that job, seein’ as no
one wants to watch a gnome whack his nose off. Soze I headed for the air
planes. Unfortunately they haven’t invented dem yet, so I became very lost.
The packrat I used as a mount died of syphilis. This got me very pissed,
for I didn’t have that one (I had gonorrhea) soze I knew he’d been cheatin
me. Just as I was giving him his ceremonial buttfucking before burying him,
this dude in full armor marched over the hill.
At first I thought this dude might be like me, ‘til I saw the bloody
rag between his teeth. It turns out this dude is none other than Morbidus,
most boring adventurer in da wands. For some reason, unknown to all mankind
and otherwise, he wanted me to travel with him. Seein’ as my rodent was
doornailed, I really didn’t have much of a choice, besides, dis dude was
kinda’ cute.
"Fuck the rat, lets go" I sez.
Soze I travelled with Morbidus, even doe e’s a half elf. Later that
night, I found out he didn’t trust me, cause I found out, too late, that he
had a belt of chastity on his hole, and I lost six inches off my nose. He
woke up and cut another six inches off my nose, redusing it to a mere foot
and a half. Well anyways, we went to a teldeprostration booth soze we could
go to another planet to save da world. We appeared in a scummy baffroom
that smelled like my favorite delicacy, which it was! I was served a chamber
pot, full to the brim, YUM!
We were in the town of Wetpecker, one of my favorite towns, as
you’ve probably already guessed. We wasn’t the only ones dat was gonna save
da woild, although I was the only jerker in the place. There was this
weader type named Jar-head, there wuz dis wizard I wanted to get up de ass
bad, but he only wanted to use thumbs, not noses. My faverit wuz dis huge
ape of a dude, cuz he didn’t like girls either. We did it real nice in a
corner the whole rest o’ the party. His name was Bighorn, you’d know why
too, his was nearly 3 cm’s!!! I also met this elf dude who hated me real
bad, like everyone else. Shana, Mr thumbs, turned out to be Bi, seein’ as
he had this ugly elf bitch, so I avoided him. I believe in one or the other,
but both is gross!
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