Tenth Adventure:  "What Kind of Idiot Gets Captured by the ...CIRCUS??"

If you recall, the last chapter ended with me and little Reffy going back to get that black death stoolie we'd left tied up in the middle of a very long tunnel.  We did find him, well part of him anyway.  Something looked like it had found him to be quite a tasty snack, poor bastard.  What a waste of time that was.  The other two dimwits had waited for us at the BD headquarters, so we all headed out of the tunnels together.  The exit took us about three days north of Rel Mord.  It was quite a hike to get back to town.  I have no idea who made these tunnels, it certainly wasn't the Black Deaths.  During our rest breaks, I studied the pattern that was marked into the cloth and ring.  It looked like this:

I'm assuming that it is two four letter words, but for all I know it could be upside down, or who knows what, for after days of studying it, I don't have any idea what it says or means.  Anyone else is more than welcome to give it a try.

Well we got back to Rel Mord safely, a couple hours after sunrise.  I was sick of travelling and looked forward to enjoying all the pleasures that life offered once I was back in my Inn.  I was going to have to find a new one soon, I'd been hanging out in this one a bit too long, but just this one more night.  I know, I know, premonitions shouldn't be ignored, but after spending 6 days underground and 3 more trudging through melting snow and mud, I was just too damn tired to listen. 

The rest of the gang went on their way to the snob joint they were staying in.  I took a nice bath and then decided to have a dinner and a few ales in the common room.  I was about halfway through my bowl of steaming soup when I noticed the front door open and then close, as if some invisible person had just entered.  This is just the kind of thing that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  As I watched I was able to make out the form of a nearly invisible "person" heading . . .directly . . . towards . . . ME?, OH SHIT!!.  A couple other people seemed to take offense to being shoved aside be an invisible creature, and just as I bolted through the kitchen door, people started shouting.  I dashed through the kitchen, ripped open the back door and ran at full speed up the street.  A second later something sharp stuck into my back.  I ran as fast as I could and ducked into the nearest alleyway.  I couldn't stop to check my injury, but if I were guessing, I'd say I had an arrow stuck in my back. 

I kept running as fast as I could.  I must have eluded my pursuers in all the alleys and twists that I took, for I was able to make it to the gate that kept all the riffraff separated from the gentlefolk.  I'm sure having an arrow sticking out of my back qualified me as the former, but my pass was still good, and the guards let me through, after I explained that I had to go visit a healer, immediately.  I made it to the Inn, lungs aching and back burning from the arrow, but I was still alive.  I had no idea if my pursuers were still on my tail, so I burst into the door and started yelling as soon as I saw the gang.  They were all sitting down to a nice meal, that appeared to be ham and potatoes. 

I quickly put their table between me and the door, as Ref pulled the arrow out of my back and I related as much as I could of what just happened.  Ref then pulled his daggers and stood over by the doorway, Kordac continued his meal, but put his axe right next to him, not that he ever let it leave his side.  T'Rojan just looked scared.   I pulled my swords and cursed that I hadn't had the opportunity to memorize any spells.  There were two tables full of patrons on the other side of the common room, who had been staring at us from the start, but who were now looking on with fear in their eyes.  If nothing had happened, I'm sure they would have bolted from their tables in another minute.  But of course, something did happen.

The door slowly opened.  We all poised ready for the attack.  No one was there, I wish I could say that it had just been the wind, but alas, no wind was blowing on this night.  Then it moved, and I could make out its shape, the invisible creature came at us, ignoring or not noticing the gnome behind it.  It went straight for Tro'jenn.  Ref fired off his daggers, Kordac leapt up with his axe, and I frantically tried to figure out what to do.  Torjid was wounded by the thing but was able to get off a color spray, it seemed to have no affect, as it continued to fight.  Maybe he'd blinded it, for he was able to run from the thing without it following him.  Kodak swung his axe at the nearly invisible creature, Ref continued to throw daggers, and I ran for one of the nearby tables.  I picked up a pot of stew and ran back and fired it at the creature, hitting it and partially covering it in stew.  Hopefully that would help give the guys something to aim at.  Treejam got off another spell, this time it was a swarm of bugs that encircled the hovering stew.  I hoped those little nasties were working, I'd seen him use the same spell effectively against a hill giant before.

I pulled my swords again, and looked for an opening to join the fight, but between Kordac, Refanij and the table, I couldn't get close.  Just about that time, all the patrons had turned over a table and huddled up in the far corner of the bar.   Opposite them and nearer to us, the kitchen door opened up, again, no one appeared to be there.  "Shit, another one of these invisible bastards!"  I could make out the creature, it was just standing in the doorway, I don't know what it was doing, but it didn't come towards the fight.  The battle continued, I think Reffy and Kordon Blue landed a few blows, and the invisible man definitely landed a few blows, for their was blood dripping from both of them.  The swarm continued to buzz around it, and I tipped over the table so I could get near enough to help in the fight.

I don't know what Torsjam was doing, and the other invisible dude didn't come at us, but food was being thrown at it from the patrons huddled in the corner.  Ref dropped back after receiving a wicked wound, and turned to throw daggers at the creature in the kitchen doorway.  I joined in the fight, and the stew covered partially invisible fiend turned towards me and swung its blades in my direction.  Just as I was certain that I'd seen my last sunset, the creature dropped to the floor.  My heart was beating fast, I turned to see what else was going on.  Trojan was nowhere to be found, oh wait a minute there he was, being unceremoniously dumped over the front of an overturned table by the patrons he'd decided to try and use as human shields.  He had a couple of arrows sticking out of him, and he didn't look too healthy.  So that was what the other creature had been doing in the doorway. 

Kordac charged the thing and landed a blow, just as it turned to flee.  He raced after it through the kitchen, but missed a turn and ran full speed into a table, sending the dwarf ass over tea kettle and sending unfinished food in all directions.  The cook was cowering in a corner with a heavy pan in his hand.  We picked up Kordac and checked to make sure the creature had definitely fled.  There was no sign of it.   We gathered around the thing we'd killed and were able to feel that it was human in shape and was wearing very little in the way of clothes.  We pulled two longswords away from it, and they slowly faded into sight, no longer invisible.  I went to the kitchen and grabbed some flour, by the time I got back, the patrons had cleared out of the common room like it had been on fire.  We dumped flour all over the thing, and realized that it looked like a naked elf.  Maybe a little larger than most elves.   The only thing it wore were some leather harnesses carrying sheaths and pouches with food and water.  It also had some nasty wounds in it, now I wonder where those came from?

We were still huddling over the mysterious marauder when the Inn keeper finally decided to show his face.  He kindly informed us that we were no longer welcome here, and after a brief argument with Refanij, agreed to return all the parties money for dinner and the nights planned stay.  The guys gathered their gear from their rooms, and we carted the body outside and ditched it on the side of the road.  After all, who'd see it.  The flour slowly began to fade away, even in death this thing remained invisible. 

After looking ourselves over we decided that we better go find Bran and beg some healing off of him.  So we made our way to the Temple of Hemorhoidious.  A little bit of healing later, and Bran was very interested in checking out the body.   He grabbed his two dogs, Goner and Whorey, and his faithful new lap half-orc Turok, the Dinosaur Hunter, then went back to the Inn to investigate.  His dog picked up the scent of the dead body and we tracked it back through the muddy streets to my inn.   Great, I could have done that.  He circled around the inn while I went inside to grab my stuff, tonight would be a good night to leave after all.  About halfway up the stairs, I heard a board squeak, I stopped up short and felt something lodge in my ass crack.  I spun around to find the gnome rubbing his overly long nose.  The little bastard had been following me.  The entire common room had been watching the whole thing, and burst into laughter.  I hate having both my body and my pride injured in the same night.  I stomped up the stairs and got my crap. Which really didn't amount to a whole lot, just my bow, my pack, and my winter coat.

When we got down to the bottom of the stairs, the barkeep was talking to a surly looking dwarf and a human that had to be a shadow mage, I just had that feeling, and all three were looking right at us.  Great, I get attacked by the invisible man, a gnome nose shoved up my ass, and caught by the Shadow mages all in the same night.  This was just fucking dandy.  The dwarf walked over and approached Ref, I took the first second that eyes were turned away from me and went out the door.  A minute later, Ref and the two strangers came outside and went over to Kordac.  The two dwarves did all the talking, in Dwarven.  Little fuckers thought they'd keep us out of the conversation.  None of them knew I speak Dwarven, and I wasn't about to let them know now.  I'd learned it from the Dwarf locksmith back at Sanctuary, who I used to do gopher work for, and who taught me about how locks were made, and subsequently, how they were picked.

Well the bottom line was that this dwarven guy's name was Grumble, he must have been the Eighth dwarf, that ran off before the whole Snow White episode took place.  His human friend was none other than the highly forgettable Mordagin.  He'd heard we were swords for hire, and wanted to enlist our aid in the rescue of his friend.   Apparently he'd been captured by ... the Circus!?  After many questions, such as "Who the hell gets captured by the circus?"  and "What kind of fugging moron gets captured by the circus?"   He informed us that his friend was a rather large, you could almost say "freakishly" large person.   So from what he was saying, his friend had been captured to be part of the freak show.  We were getting hired to rescue a freak from a circus.  Man what would be next? 

The whole time that this little conversation was going on, Bran kept on insisting that his mangy mutts still had the scent of our invisible attackers.  We finally agreed to meet the Dwarf and his Shadowy friend the next morning here at the inn to discuss the details of the situation.  We then went off and followed the stupid mutts to the city's main gate, where they lost the trail among all the mess of the tracks of 10,000 people.  This gate was currently being well used, as the circus was just outside and up the road a bit. 

We decided to call it a much overdue night.  Bran took his flea bitten hounds, and the Seed of Evil back with him to the temple, agreeing to meet us in the morning.  We found an Inn that would take our kind at this time of night, and then went to bed.   We got up, much too early, and went back to the dive I'd been staying at, which still had my horse Sally in the stable, and met with our two new pals.  Bran and his orc thing walked in a few minutes later, and we got down to business. 

The story that unfolds is that the captured friend is in reality a half giant.   After about a half hour discussion on the mechanics of the sexual act which must have taken place to spawn such a creature, the story continued.  His name, the half giant, is Fessick, and he was travelling with Grumble, also called "Pickaxe" by his friends (needless to say none of us felt in any way inclined to call him Pickaxe), when the man who runs the circus approached Grumble and offered to buy the Fessick from him.  After a heated session of haggling, the man refused to pay 5 gold for the beast, so they parted ways.   At some point later on, the Fessick was captured by the circus, while Grumble was in the latrine.  He had come out after a particularly painful bowel movement only to find his good buddy missing.  He would never have known it was the circus if it weren't for the red "ball" nose and tufts of bright curly orange hair he found in the vicinity.  He chased after the circus, but he was too late, they had boarded a vessel and were headed across the Azure Sea towards the Kingdom of Nyrond.  He was in the Wild Coast, or there abouts, and didn't have the money to book passage on a vessel, so he traveled up through Greyhawk, met this Mad Mardigan character, and had continued down until finally meeting up with the circus here in Rel Mord. 

So here we all were, itching to find any excuse to go to the circus, so we agreed to help the poor little runt out.  I was still wondering how they captured a half giant, but maybe we'd find out.  We went on up to the circus, with the exception of Grumble, who was afraid he'd be recognized, and wandered around the place.  It was basically a bunch of wagons in a circle with people walking around in the middle.  There were monkeys and bears and freaks from who knows where, and giant spiders and bats, ick!   And yes there was even one Fessick.  He looked like he was both big and retarded, cuz all he did was sit on the floor of a wagon and drool on himself.  On a whole the circus was entertaining, and the Goat-ka-bobs were pretty tasty.  The whole thing was run by a bunch of gypsies that must have been closely related, since they all had similar features.

We then went back to the Inn to discuss a course of action.  We talked about sneaking in at night and opening up his cage, but weren't sure how we'd move an unconscious half-giant.  The others insisted he'd been poisoned, that's why he was sitting around drooling.  We also discussed setting some of the animals free to cause a distraction.  Our planning meeting was cut short though, when Bran opened his pie hole and suggested we go to the authorities and inform them of what was going on.   After comments amounting to "Go shove your head up your ass, Bran", he decided that he would go tell the authorities about the captured Fessick, since that was undoubtedly the best course of action.  That stinking bastard left, and a few minutes later we decided to clear out of this Inn just in case he delivered on his promise. 

We sent Mordagin back up to the circus to keep an eye on things, while we schemed away.   Ref and I went out and bought a potion of neutralize poison, hoping we could give it to the Fessick in hopes that he'd recover from whatever was sedating him.  When we got back, Mordagin was there, and told us that Bran, Turok the Dinosaur Slayer, and three of the City Guard had entered the circus together.  Nethra's Tit!  I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch some day.  So much for the element of surprise.  Time for plan B, if only we had a plan A first.  It was decided that Grumble and Kordac would go up to the circus and feed Fessick the potion of neutralize poison.   Hopefully he'd regain his strength, and break out of his prison. 

Sunset came and there was no sign of Grumble, Kordac, or the giant.  Damn, what happened?  We decided to go out to the circus and see what was going on.  As we approached, we saw a contingent of city guard standing around the circus entrance.   When we got up to them, we were told that the circus was closed for the night, and that we had to go home.  Refanij started arguing with the guard, until a sergeant came over.  He looked us over, then pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket.   After looking us over and then looking at the paper again, he said "So you're the troublemakers, huh?"  That fucking Bran had totally ratted us out.   Paybacks are gonna be a bitch pal.  A little more discussion, and of course claims of our innocence, and we finally got around to asking where the two dwarves were.   At this point we were informed that they were in jail. 

"What did they do?" asked Refanij.

"They beat up some old lady", said the guard.

That pretty much shut the garrulous little gnome right up.  Great, some old bag probably looked cross eyed at the blood thirsty Kordac, and he went berserk with is axe.   How the hell were we going to get him out of jail now?  We were told that the lady was alive and probably would live so hopefully they wouldn't be charged with murder.   So much for rescuing the giant, now we had to rescue the dwarves too. 

We turned back, headed for the city, when who do you think came walking up to us?   None other than Bran the Fink and his trustless sidekick Turok.  It was only a matter of seconds before Refanij started foaming at the mouth and screaming obscenities at him.  He even started pulling his daggers, but refrained, Bran seemed to call his bluff, by completely ignoring the open threat.  Many words were exchanged, Bran defending his position, Refanij accusing him of being a heartless slug, but it finally ended with Bran walking away and telling us that the only chance we had of getting the dwarves out of jail was through him.  We all sprayed a few more obscenities his way, and waited for him to get a good distance ahead before turning back ourselves. 

When we got to the city gate, Turok was waiting for us.  He said he couldn't really agree with Bran's actions, so he'd try and help us out.  Yeah right!  We all thought he was just a plant, we'd see.  Just as we started on again, I turned to Turok and asked "What the hell is a dinosaur anyway?"

Turok seemed determined to follow us to our Inn, so Refanij lit out in one direction, and I decided that the other bozos were cramping my style anyway, so I went off in another.  I headed into the seedier part of town to try and reacquaint myself with my "eyes and ears", maybe I'd get some imformation on the invisible assassins.  I failed to learn anything of value, but I did find a quality establishment to lay low for the night, with appropriate entertainment.  

I woke up the next day, with the sun high in the air.   I considered seeing what the brain trust was up to, but figured they were probably arguing over who had a nicer set of boots, and hadn't even gotten around to figuring out how to spring the midgets or the giant.  I spotted a half full bottle of Old Pappy's Sourmash sitting on my dresser from the night before, and decided it needed my attention more than the clods.  After a nice afternoon nap, I finally crawled out of bed and made my way back to the inn where Refanij, T'Rohan, Mordygin, and myself had been staying.  

I got there in time for dinner, and found Mordy, Troejam and Turok gathered around talking about the dwarves.  Refanij hadn't been around all day, but if I knew him, his big nose was probably sticking around from behind some nearby corner.  Apparently the two short stocky trouble makers had been sentenced today.   Grumble was spending the next two days with his head in the stocks, and Kordac would be enjoying a two week vacation in a lovely dank dungeon, complete with lepers and rats.    I was worried that Grumble wouldn't live to see the second day, until I was told that he was stocked up in the courtyard of the castle, rather than the common market.  Bad things could happen to people in the stocks during the night, if left out.

The rest of the party had learned that tomorrow would be the last day for the circus and that they were headed for the Prelacy of Almor or the Great Kingdom.  I'm not from around here, so I don't know which was closer, nor did it really matter.  We formulated a plan, we'd hit the circus on the road, and free the giant.  Grumble would be freed the same day the circus was leaving town, so we could get him in on the action.  Turok was invovled, and even Bran had been invited to attend, not my decision, but maybe I'd get my chance to see him die.  Unless Reffy showed up, he wasn't involved. 

Mordy had purchased a scroll of dispel magic and a scroll of neutralize poison.  The plan was to catch up to the gypsy train, and sneak in at night and free the giant.  We'd make use of some invisibility spells and silence spells to get one group along side the giant's wagon, while the other half of the group caused a distraction and guarded the retreat.  The plan sounded overly complex to me, I don't know why they wouldn't just let me sneak in and start letting deadly creatures loose, then get the giant out in the mayhem.  Whatever the case, we waited for the eventful day to arrive.

The morning that the circus was to leave, I got on my horse and headed out to tail the circus train, hoping to relay back to the group, its position.  They would probably be a half day behind me, as they had to wait until around noon for Grumble to be released.  By the time I got to the area where the Gypsies had been, they were long gone.  I took off down the road and soon came upon a short, long nosed creature with a foul mouth and bad breath, in other words, Refanij.   He had been stalking the bulk of the party and learned of the plan to rescue the giant.  He had gotten up a little earlier than me and had actually seen the gypies depart.  They were just a bit in the distance, just over the next rise.

To make a long story somewhat shorter, the entire party met up and were within striking distance of the gypsy train by the second afternoon.   We set camp about a mile back from where the gypies had circled their wagons for a nights respite.  Our plan was for me, Turok and Grumble to sneak up and unlock the giant's wagon, open the door, and then I was to use the scroll of dispel magic and Grumble was to use the scroll of neutralize poison.  Turok and Grumble would be turned invisible, and would also have a spell of silence cast over Turok.  I, of course, had no need for such magic, as my skills in remaining unseen are near legendary, ok, maybe not legendary, at least not yet.  In the meantime, the rest of the group would circle around the other side of the caravan and send Trojan's cat after the sheep and goats to cause a distraction, while the rest of them would prepare to intercept any pursuing gypsies.

First we needed to find out which wagon the giant was in.   We sent the invisible Turok in to find out.  He came back and reported finding the giant sleeping in his wagon, away from most of the gypsies.  We proceeded with the plan.  I went with Turok and Grumble, who were both invisible.  I carried a scroll of dispel magic, and Grumble carried a scroll of neutralize poison.  Turok was there to provide muscle.  We got in position and Grumble cast a spell of silence over   Turok and I assume he stayed within its radius of effect.  I waited for the sound of the "distraction".  Hopefully the other two were keeping an eye on me for a signal, because I couldn't see or hear them.  Soon enough I heard barking dogs and yelling people, so I knew it was time to act.  I got up and headed for the wagon.  The other two had apparently been paying attention, because the silence enshrouded me as we neared the wagon that the giant was in. 

The first thing I noticed was that the wagon door was unlocked.  Turok opened it, at least it was his job to open it.  I stepped back and cast the scroll of dispel magic on the sleeping giant.  If it did anything, I have no idea.  Then a scroll appeared out of thin air next to me, and Grumble began to chant some wierd stuff.  Again, I have no idea if it did anything.  We could still hear people shouting and dogs barking, but no one was heading in our direction yet.   After a few moments, I saw Grumble appear as he began kicking the giant to try and wake him.  The massive creature gained consciousness, and a brief conversation ensued, where Grumble was able to convince Fessick to leave with him.  The silence spell must have worn off, for I could hear Turok moving around, as well as everything else in the vicinity.

Just as the big oaf was clambering out of the wagon, I spotted some gypsies leading 2 dogs running for our location.  We took off, and just as they passed between two wagons, I webbed them all up.  As we ran, I could see a good half dozen or more gypsies come through the wagons in pursuit.  Just ahead of us, I saw the rest of our group heading to intercept them, and make good our escape.  

Myself, Fessick, Grumble and Orc/Dinosaur slayer (who was still invisible) continued running away from the circus wagons.  We didn't really see what happened, but I'll relate what I was told transpired after that.  Troj-enz slept a couple of gypsies, but about 5 more kept coming.  Bran, T'Rojan, Mord-again, the spirit of Kordac (who's physical form was stewing in the Rel Mord dungeons) and Refanij, who maintained a safe operating distance from Bran at all times, intercepted the 5 gypsies and failed to sleep any more of them with a spell.

Then, the 5 gypsies, upon seeing the crew of adventurers armed to the teeth and preparing to commit bodily harm, came to a screeching halt.  Realizing that they were relatively unarmed, they dove to their right back into the circle of gypsy wagons.   The party took this opportunity to back off cautiously.  Many gypsy eyes and heads could be seen peering around from wagons as the group cautiously retreated, but being cowards for the most part, the gypsies had no interest in running into battle, knowing that even a win, would come at a great loss of life.  They apparently were content to let us have the giant, afterall, they won't have to feed him for the winter, and he made a circus smell bad..

We regrouped at camp, Zot came back with some wool in her teeth, apparently having taken out at least one sheep before being chased off by dogs and gypsies.  We decided to head back to Rel Mord that instant, rather than wait for daybreak and a possible counter attack.  Fessick was still lethargic and somewhat confused.  From the conversation he had with Grumble, it is apparent that he thinks that Grumble was a friend and travelling companion of the gypsies, having seen him with them quite often over the last few months, and that he had been very ill and was being helped by the gypsies, at Grumble's urging.  He was not convinced that Grumble is telling the entire truth when he claims that it is all a lie and that Fessick had been under the influence of some magic.  None the less, the
party including Fessick made its way back to Rel Mord safely.

Tired and hungry, the party arrived at Rel Mord, 2 days after freeing Fessick.   Fessick was feeling much better and had almost regained his entire strength, at least that's what he said.  He was now more willing to believe that he had been duped by the gypsies in some fashion, and that he had been poisoned while in their company.   If only the guards at the gate had allowed Fessick to enter the city, there would have been no problems, unfortunately that wasn't the case.

A heated argument arose, and T'Roj tried using the family name, but to no avail.   The party was forced to find an Inn outside of the city.  They were successful, but the innkeeper wanted the party to put a 100gp deposit down in the event the giant trashed the place, and then charged 5gp per night to put the giant up, saying that he'd lose all kinds of business with the scary beast in here.  Meanwhile, T'Roj went to find his Daddy to see if he could get a letter allowing the big lug into the city, Bran took his dinosaur slayer with him back to his temple, to avoid the stares of the rest of the group.  I took the opportunity to go into the city to find a place away from the giant.  The rest of the group stayed the first night with Fessick at their special Inn.

It wasn't long before T'Roj got a letter allowing the giant to enter the city, but only after an officer of the city guard came out and interviewed the giant to make sure he wasn't a wild beast.  When Fessick finally entered the city, children gathering around him, adults gawked at him, you know, the typical walking freak show reaction.   It would be another week before Kodak got out of the lockup, so I went looking for an old run down warehouse in the poor district that I could rent or buy, and turn into a magical lab and safe house.  I had been meaning to research this silent armor spell I had ideas for in my head.