Adventure Twenty "Fish in a Barrel"
It was a cool day, the sky was overcast, and our group stood quietly on the deck of the ferry, holding the reigns of our horses as we floated north across the Yol River, to the Duchy of Tenh. We had gathered up Cuhltron, after yet another futile attempt at slaughtering a large number of orcs, and were leaving the Theocracy of Pale for good. I was looking forward to journeying in the Duchy of Tenh. The people of Tenh were an exotic people with dark skin, I'd met people like them in the past, but never have I traveled through their lands before. Hopefully Nevrond Nevnend, the capital of the Duchy, would be a more enjoyable place to visit than the Pale had proven to be.
I looked about at my comrades, T'rojan, the oft maligned conjuror, stared out across the wide river, his mind on some other place, probably wishing he were back home or hoping that he'd discover tasty new cheeses in Tenh. Mordagin, the overly ambitious shadow mage, looked about the nearby waters and scanned the passengers on the ferry, probably figuring out which of his spells would be the best to use in case he had to kill something in the next 5 seconds. Cuhltron, the sage who lead us on this wild goose chase to find the Moon Gate and the mysterious lands beyond, was also lost in thought, probably imagining what Damascus would be like, if we ever found it. The dwarf Forge, the most recent addition to our party, looked about furtively, his hands gripped tightly about the reigns of his pony, his eyes, wide with fear, shot about the water and the boat we stood upon. Most dwarves had a healthy fear of water, as they sank like stones in it, and Forge was no exception. Turok, the half orc, calmly stood near the bow of the boat, looking ahead to the land we'd soon be travelling in. He was a difficult individual to understand as I had no idea what motivated him. He had no family, land or home, like myself, and seemed to have no goals of his own, he just journeyed where the wind blew him. Finally my eyes rested on Millie, my lovely Millie. She was also scrutinizing her fellow passengers, though unlike me, she was probably trying to assess each persons sexual stamina. Our relationship was good, but I knew that it would only last so long as we were near each other. The day I left her behind while going on a journey would be the last day that I could call her mine. Until such an event happened, I was determined to enjoy our time together.
Soon enough, the peaceful trip across the Yol river was over, and we were on dry land again. Forge was the first to disembark, becoming much easier once his feet were planted on dry land. The rest of us somberly joined the dwarf.
"Well folks, lets get moving, the Troll Fens lie to the north and east, and to our west lies the Phostwood. Winter will be upon us before we know it, so lets get going" stated Cuhltron.
Following his lead, we all mounted our horses and headed out along the road to Nevrond Nevnend, a seven day ride to the north. I wondered what adventure would befall us on the way. I looked forward to the danger with a certain relish, which I expect the others felt as well. How else could you explain our never ending desire to face ferocious beasts and the unknown? Maybe T'Rojan felt compelled to match the success of his father, but the rest of us, I knew, got high on the danger.
It was only a matter of days before the danger we hunted, came calling. Early one morning, only an hour before the sun was to rise, I was awakened by the howling of wolves and T'Rojan and Forge yelling. Everyone else had been resting comfortably within the dome of a Leomunds tiny hut spell when the call to arms came. Jumping to my feet, with short swords springing to my hands, I quickly surveyed the area. Just outside T'rojan color sprayed and knocked unconscious two wolves. On the other side of the camp, Forge stood his ground as two or three more wolves charged, Turok was running to his side, so I ran out to help T'Rojan. What kind of wolves were these, I wondered, as ordinary wolves never attacked groups of people.
As I ran up alongside T'rojan I could see and hear more wolves moving about on the perimeter of my sight. I buried my shortsword into one of the unconscious wolves, ending its life, and had just enough time to prepare myself as another came rushing in. T'Rojan and I fought it off, and I could hear more action occurring on the other side of the camp, and very quickly, the attack was over. The wolves that weren't dead had run off, they'd have to go hungry for while longer. Upon closer inspection, we determined that they had been werewolves, we had killed about five of the beasts in all and Turok, Forge and T'Rojan had been injured by them, running the risk of contracting the lycanthropy disease. Hopefully they hadn't but we wouldn't know till the next full moon, if one believed the old tales.
The sun was about to rise, so we decided to break camp early. The timing of the attack disrupted our ability to memorize spells, and my stoneskins had been used up in the battle with the werewolves, so travelling today would carry extra danger. We traveled that day without event, we were now north of the Troll Fens, and were travelling within the foot hills of the nearby mountains, their peaks could be seen far in the distance stretching from the north to the east. That night, soon after settling down to sleep, we were attacked once again. This time it was gargoyles. I didn't even know they lived out in the wild, apparently they did.
Rising from my sleep to the sound of battle, once again, I drew my weapons, prepared my spells and set out to protect our lives from ferocious beasts, intent on spilling our blood. Once again we fought on all sides, some of our weapons were incapable of damaging the stony creatures. We loosed our remaining spells, but finally were able to defeat them all, about eight in total. I was dead tired, and just as I was about to crawl back under my blankets, Forge informed me that it was my watch now, damn! Rudd smiled on me, for the night went uneventfully after that, and were were able to head out the next day rested and refreshed.
We were soon travelling along the edge of the mountains. The road traveled along the side of a stream, passing beside the occasional cliff, where the water had worn through the side of a hill. Sometimes the road veered away from the stream and passed around some of the steeper hills. The next day, while travelling through this hilly area, we spotted a large wagon ahead of us in the distance. As we grew closer, our fears became reality, it was that asshole Maoder and his cronies, journeying north like ourselves. That big wagon must have been slowing them down in this hilly terrain, for we were catching up on them, even though they were about three days ahead of us when we had left Pale.
Wishing to keep interaction with them to a minimum, but keep our pride, we decided to pass them without even glancing at them or exchanging pleasantries. As we approached them, the half-elf and human warrior started taunting us. Warning us that it was dangerous out here without our mothers to protect us, and telling Millie that if she wanted a real man she was travelling with the wrong group. We ignored them and passed by.
At this point, the road was travelling along the top of a ravine, with the stream flowing some 50 feet below us to our left. Ahead, lay a steep hill, the road squeezed between a cliff face to the right with the ravine dropping steeply off to the left. Having passed through several situations like this in the last few days, we proceeded normally. This time however, a surprise awaited us.
Three giants popped their heads over the side of the cliff, about 100 feet up, and heaved rocks at us, catching us nearly by surprise. We were caught with the ravine on our left, and fallen boulders and the cliff face to our right. Behind us the road continued back, but we would be exposed to thrown boulders, and ahead of us, the road turned to the right around the steep hill. As the first boulders landed, confusion ensued. Cuhltron was struck by one of the boulders, as were a couple of the horses. I spurred my horse forward to get clear of the mess, but was unable to get far as others fought to maintain control of their mounts ahead of me. More giants joined in the rock throwing game and several comrades fell from their horses as the animals panicked or were stricken by boulders. Finally I was able to race my horse clear of the fray with Mordagin and Forge with me as we rounded the bend and got out of boulder distance of the giants.
Looking about, we saw two riderless horses with us, Turok's and Cuhltron's horse. The rest of the party was still back at the pass. Damn! I hoped Millie was alright. We had to do something, but there were lots of giants, we could only hope that the others had been able to get over the side of the ravine or find shelter among the boulders along the road. While we tried to figure out what to do, we saw Turok, Millie and Culhtron darting amongst the boulders around the bend. As they moved, the giants skirted along the top of cliff taking shots with their boulders when they got the chance. I prayed for Millie.
The hill wasn't nearly as steep where we were, and it was covered in trees, we planned on running into the trees for cover and counterstriking the giants from there. Just then, three more giants came around the edge of the trees, nearer to us. Now there were seven giants, three by us and four near Millie, Turok and Cuhltron. We had no idea what happened to T'Rojan, or if he was even still alive. We ran into the trees to intercept the three near us as Millie, Turok and Culhtron made a break for it, having run out of cover, and ran towards us. I didn't have time to see what happened as I ran through the trees, hoping to get to those giants as quickly as possible. I cast fly on myself and prepared for a fight to the death. Just then, a burst of flames engulfed two of the giants on top of the cliff and they appeared to be engaged by an enemy on the other side of the hill. It must be Maoder's Marauders, striking from behind. It looks like those assholes were good for something after all.
We neared the edge of the trees, from my vantage I could see that two of the giants were a bit smaller than the other, maybe they were adolescents? I raised up above the trees to draw fire, confident that I was protected by my stoneskins. One of the giants launched a boulder at me, but missed, and Mordagin and I counterattacked with spells. Forge held his ground among the trees in case they charged. Two of the giants were trapped within a web of shadows, and T'Rojan appeared in mid-air casting spells as well. Apparently he had turned invisible and flown from danger. Turok also came running up to join in the fight. Soon two of the giants were dead, and the third turned tail and ran. The battle on the cliff was over, we could see human sized figures walking about the forms of dead giants.
I chased after the fleeing giant, firing arrows into his back. Hoping that he'd lead us to his lair, and the treasures within, I stayed just close enough to spur him on, and withheld the killing blow. Soon enough I saw that he was heading for a cave entrance, and he began yelling. I hit him with another arrow, he stumbled and crashed to the earth, remaining still. The rest of the group caught up with me and surveyed the situation.
From inside the cave mouth, we saw a giant stick it's head out and look at us. The creature was apparently afraid of us, for rather than run forward and attack, it retreated within. It was decided that I would go back and get Millie and Cuhltron, while the others prepared our eventual invasion into the giant's lair.
I flew back to the horses along the road, and found Millie caring for a sorely injured Cuhltron. I knew I was in trouble, for Millie would not even look at me.
"Honey, sweetie, I was just circling around behind the giants so I could attack them", I pleaded. "There wasn't anything any of us could do when they ambushed us, but run away. I thought you were right behind me. Then when I saw you weren't, my heart turned to ice, I thought I'd lost you. I'm just so happy to see you made it."
Slowly she lifted her eyes to me then lifted her right hand and gave me a rather odd hand signal, her hand was in a fist, except her middle finger, which was extended straight up.
"Does that mean you forgive me?" I asked.
"No! That means you're an asshole!", she retorted.
"Oh. Well I'm glad that's cleared up. Can you come and help us, please, we're trying to finish off the last of the giants, they're holed up in a cave not too far away."
"Actually, Cuhltron is in more need of my attention at this moment than a bunch of chicken shit assholes trying to gather treasure from some soon to be dead giants."
"Uhmm...uh, well...yes, I guess that would be wisest." I stammered. "I'll be back shortly, try to keep Cuhltron from dying if you would", and with that I turned and flew back to the giant cave.
"Well what's the plan?" I asked after landing amongst the group, still huddled outside the cave entrance, "Millie is caring for a seriously injured Cuhltron and will be unable to assist us."
"You mean she's pissed at us for leaving her behind when the giants attacked?", surmised Mordagin.
"Yes, something like that", I replied.
"Women!", grumbled Forge.
After that, they let me know their plan. I was to create the illusion of a platoon of armed dwarves, Mordagin was going to enlarge Turok, and we'd go marching in there and wipe the giants out. Sounded like a good plan, especially since I'd stay to the back of the group and concentrate on my phantasm.
I'd give you the blow by blow of the following ruckus, but I didn't really see everything that was going on, having to concentrate on controlling ten illusionary dwarves and make it look real. Needless to say, we killed two mature female giants, before Forge got his ass kicked by a child giant.
It was actually a rather ugly incident. After killing off the females, we found three children huddled in a corner. For some reason, only Forge felt compelled to attack and kill the defenseless creatures. The rest of stood looking at the cowering creatures wondering what to do with them. Forge attacked while we stood, and ended up getting tossed around the cave by the overgrown child. Turok finally stepped in and killed it, saving Forge from a rather untimely and embarrassing demise. Forge had a look of pure rage in his eyes and proceeded to attack another cowering child, killing it. I was beginning to be sickened by the display of brutality, Mordagin had been shouting for Forge to stop. I couldn't take it any more, and attempted to color spray the dwarf, but he wasn't looking in my direction, and I was only able to knock the infant unconscious. Finally Forge ceased his merciless slaughter, leaving the giant baby asleep on the cave floor.
Forge turned to us, rage still in his eyes, "Thanks for helping me!" he screamed in bitter sarcasm, "These are god damned giants, they are evil, they must be killed! What the hell is wrong with all of you? You would have let me die, only the Orc helped me! A damn orc!" Having said his piece, he stomped out of the cave, face still red with rage.
"My, what an angry little fellow", T'Rojan stated calmly.
I surveyed the scene and wondered, what the hell we were going to do with the child. Personally I'd just leave it, maybe some other giants were still around and would come and care for it, or maybe it would be eaten by a pack of wolves. Whatever happened, it really wasn't my concern, it's parents had tried to kill us, its life would have to rest with the hand of fate. I turned to inspect the cave for valuables, but my search was futile.
Meanwhile, T'Rojan and Mordagin, having decided that their sexual orientation precluded them from ever having a child of their own, decided that they would adopt the giant babe, and becomes little junior's two daddies. The very thought was nearly as sickening as watching Forge kill it. Maybe it would be better off if Forge had killed it. I know for sure, I wouldn't be woken in the night by a crying baby if Forge had killed it. I had to leave the cave when Mordagin and T'Rojan started making baby talk with the massive baby, if I didn't, my lunch surely would come up.
When I got back to Millie and Cuhltron, they wanted to know what had happened with Forge, for he had gathered up all his gear, mounted his pony and headed off down the road, back to the south.
"We wouldn't help him kill giant babies, so he got all pissed off and stormed out", I said.
"He left just because of that?" asked Cuhltron.
"Well that and the fact that one of the giant kids almost killed him and he had to be saved by an Orc. Maybe his Dwarven pride was damaged beyond repair. I really don't understand those little bastards, but they sure are bloodthirsty." I added.
"He'll never make it home", replied Cuhltron, "he'll die on the road for sure, this land is far too dangerous for a lone traveler, but such is the way of the world, it is not our place to judge."
"Sure thing Culhtron, I just hope you like giant babies, cuz you're about to be an uncle." I said.
Shortly after, the rest of our remaining party, Turok, T'Rojan and Mordagin arrived. T'Rojan was leading the child by the hand. It was nearly as tall as him, I wondered how long it would be before the child threw a tantrum and killed one of its new "parents".
Luckily the rest of our day and a half journey Nevrond Nevnend went without mishap. We arrived at the city near dusk, had we been an hour later and we'd have been forced to spend the night outside the gates of the city. We found a place to stay, within the protective walls, and settled in for a good nights rest. Millie hadn't totally forgiven me yet, but we did share a bed, and we had a good night's sleep for the first time in over a week.